Dubai in a nutshell! or Credit card Hell!

Using a credit- or debit- card in Dubai is a natural thing. As with most other developed countries this is one of the features that normally works. During most of the shopping festivals around here we see a major amount of advertisements for VISA, MasterCard ,Diners, American Express and so on. Usually one of the credit card companies have teamed up with a Bank and several of the shopping malls and other outlets so that you can earn points for life for every dollar you spend. Once you have your gold card another bank comes up with a platinum, or why not the latest titanium card. The banks keep calling us to tell us how good their card is and why we must have it. Just use it and earn points you can even use on the airlines. Why not! They are very surprised when I tell them to never call me again as it seems they believe they have the offer of a lifetime. (Have a friend who actually took them up on the offer.. 8 months later he had still not received the card or was it the pincode to use it... And guess what the shopping festival had ended.)

It worked perfect for a while, I have a VISA and MasterCard from my usual bank and not a Dubai based one, so don't need any more cards thus I don't earn any points... But neither do I pay all the various transaction fees that they invent meanwhile. Until lately, that is.

I normally fuel up at the most prevailing fuel chains. It is two Dubai based companies that somehow are still owned by the same company and they almost have a monopoly in Dubai for the fuel stations. I know of one other chain also but to find a fuelstation from them is virtually impossible.

4 months ago the large ones announced that it was too expensive for them to cover the Creditcard fees so they would charge 1.5% or 2% on each transaction. I did not really complain about the 2 Dirham they charge me extra but it felt crazy... the reason for using the card should be benefiting the company probably more than me as it means no cash to move around thus less risk of robbery.

To my surprise it was getting more and more difficult though to use the cards. The attendants kept coming back to me saying "card no work!" Looking at the 4-5 slips they had it was evident that the card did work but their machines did not. Transaction cancelled was the error code so normally I sent the guys back and voila! it worked.

Now yesterday I tried to fuel up and pay with my card again and the guy simply informed we "we don't accept credit-cards anymore!"



Hmmm. Well looking at how things work in Dubai in general I am not really surprised. It seems everything is about how to move costs around and try to gain maximum amount of profit for a few in the shortest possible time. I guess it is not unlike any other place but to stop accepting credit cards that must be a novelty in this day and age. Are they on to something the rest of us don't know about yet?!

Maybe the fuel company got fed up trying to access the lines to the bank 5 times as they could only charge for one transaction try.... maybe it is the bank that is not catching up with their internal connections?.. for sure this is the case with the local bank we normally use for our office!, or maybe it is the telephone company lines that simply can not catch up with the expansion in the country..still charging for each call tried between the fuel station and the bank, thus they earn their money while no transaction could be made, or maybe it is that all these credit card offers in reality look nice on the surface, and the easy way out of delivering all the points is to close down the services people use and then maybe re-create them in the future, under a new name not in the list of participating companies.. Thus avoiding people to amass enough points to make it worth anything.

I have no clue what the answer is but I just cant figure out why a major chain would suddenly stop having people pay this way. Oh by the way you can though still get their internal fuel payment cards and pay with them ;-) I dont know but I would guess it works on pre-payment ;-)

I do though know that the price has always been cheaper in the next Emirate, Abu Dhabi, and guess what?! They have never charged for using the credit cards !? Even from their large almost monopoly size company.

Once I climbed Mount Makilala, Mindanao

I am sure very few people have a clue about were on earth this mountain is. It's not like it is well known like Mount Everest or Kilimanjaro :-)

We had to set up a new operation in Mindanao to support mainly the Muslim population in the hard to reach areas of the island. Mindanao is a very nice island and could be a tourist paradise but it is instead notoriously known for all the kidnappings of prominent people or foreigners. Either the Abu Sayyaf or some of the other rebels are making sure of this. Most of the time the people were released after paying a ransom. Most of the time!

The UN office in Manila had assigned one of the security officers to join me on the mission as I would not be allowed to travel alone or with a driver only. The risk for kidnapping was too high. After looking at a few of the maps I had identified some of the potential locations for our communication systems and one was Makilala. As most areas are off limits for anyone let alone visitors we made arrangements with the commander on the island to get access on the mountains.

So me and my security officer arrived early in the morning to the local military outpost close to the mountain and greeted the commandos. they were just about to finish their morning briefings when we arrived. They invited us for coffee and we sat just chatting with them. Being all in uniform they wondered if we really planned to climb the mountains. But of course that is what we have to do. Hmmm....

They all looked at me, then at my security officer in despair. Me in my safari vest, shorts and sneakers. My normal field outfit :-) a tad overweight ;-) and with an orange T-shirt. then they looked at my colleague. A retired general still looking fit, but retired.

hmmm.. They did all their calling around to check if we would be allowed on the mountain but found out we did have permission.

We jumped into our car and drove ahead to the meeting point. After about 30 minutes we see two military trucks coming over and stopping. 20 soldiers jumped of and again we were told to wait. They needed to send some troops ahead to clear the tracks for us before we could start climbing.. It was clear that there was potential for threats in the area.

After a few minutes we started walking up toward the mountain in a nice tempo.. I started to remember the trip up the mountain with the Karamojong in Uganda and the speed they walked at... Guess what? The Philippine commandos seem to keep the same speed or maybe it is me who has gotten slower ;-)

We walked and walked and the scenery was spectacular. Village people coming out greeting us on the way. Living very simple in their wooden huts. They for sure did not have a lot of money but their smiley faces would not go away. Most people on the mountain lived on harvesting the rubber from the rubber-trees. After 10 minutes we needed to slow down..again after another 10 again..... It continued like that and our faces were full of sweat. It got steeper and steeper and the track smaller and smaller. We could hear the commandos signalling between each other but we could only see the 6 that we had as close escort. The rest was moving in a very different way.

After almost one hour the retired general was slowing down and could not keep my pace even so we split our group also and I continued. After another 30 minutes of struggling I finally reached the top to the amusement of the commandos who was already preparing their lunch. It had taken just about 3 hours for the climb.

We got word that the general had fainted and been taken to a small hut to rest. But he was ok. He did arrive to the top 30 minutes later.

I did my work and then we just sat there taking in the view. It was spectacular about 1500 meters up. We could see Mt Apo the highest peak 2954m in Mindanao and about 100 km away. The skies were clear and the forests around intensely green. Unfortunately no picture taking in this area for security reasons.

After a bit more checking the site we headed down again. It was more difficult to see the tracks coming down. We also noticed that we had basically gone around one mountain to go up on the next one. Once down we met up with the commander again and then headed back to Davao. Once we reached Davao it was dinner and then straight to bed. It was fun but we had both reached our limit,that day:-) The next morning we drove to mount Malalag and started all over again.

Don't!

6 years ago I moved to Dubai and for most it has been a good experience;-)

- Living in a construction site , ever since.

- Working inside another construction site. It was almost not for about 6 months.

- More and more traffic jams.

Don't get me wrong there are good sides also but they are no part of this story ;-)

There is one thing that drives me bananas. Like in any other place there are rules and regulations when it comes to renting an apartment. Most of the times those rules are quite reasonable but were does it end? With my Landlord here it took about 1 week to feel like I was living in a student dorm in Sweden... Don't do this, don't do that.. If you think I am joking please continue to read.

- Don't have any Pets

- Don't BBQ on the balcony or on common grounds.

- Don't hang laundry on the balcony

- Don't install a Satellite dish

- Don't litter

- Don't have social functions in the common grounds (mind you they are like 10 football pitches)

- Don't do any kind of alterations to the premises

- Don't park bicycles in the staircase

-Don't live more than 2 adults (Husband and Wife!) and 0 children in a 1 bedroom apartment

- Don't live more than 2 adults (Husband and Wife!) and 1 child if the apartment is 2 bedrooms

- Don't live more than 2 adults (Husband and Wife!) and 2 children if the apartment has 3 bedrooms

- Don't allow relatives coming for visit to stay in your apartment

- Don't move any furniture out or in to the apartment without explicit permission from Landlord

- Don't clean the apartment after 2000

- Don't leave any belongings in common areas

- Don't drill in the walls in the kitchen

- Don't drill in the walls in the bathroom

- Don't sublet a room in your apartment

- Don't share your apartment for free.

- Don't park more than one car in the parking (too bad if both husband and wife actually need one each!)

- Don't distribute flyer's in the buildings (vendors/residents).

I always have a pile of 20 brochures every month... I know exactly how long my neighbours have been gone! However as we have no pigeon holes or any other means of getting mail at the apartment even the landlord is actually leaving contractual documents outside the door! I do have a PO box at the post office.!?

- Don't play loud music.

- Don't smoke in common areas

- Don't use the fire exits for casual entry (mind you the doors are always open.)

Now last week I got two more papers.

Mandatory tenant ID card. (have not filed the papers yet and wont. With copy of passport, residence visa and tenant contract)

-Don't move around in the premises without the mandatory ID card (mind you there is no fence around the compound. just desert, a 2 km long shopping mall and a construction site.....

Mandatory Parking permit (mind you the form explicitly says they have no obligation to guarantee a space even though my apartment number is marked on a parking space?! again with copy of passport, residence visa and tenant contract)

- Don't park your car without the mandatory Parking permit

For both of the above note that to get the tenant contract the same office require the same exact document and if they, the landlord does not have an original signed tenant contract for my apartment ... then who does!!!

Whatever you think... DON'T!

Been there, done that!

That was the print on a T-shirt I bought in Rarotonga, South Cook islands in 1989. I had just been to my 10th country in South pacific at that time. Now I have added a few more countries. This is just a map of places I have been to. Marked dark brown are countries and the green spots are small entities. Click on the map to see more details.

So many countries and so little time ;-) As you can see I am kind of addicted to travelling.


Shanghai last week.


My passport


My official passport

Flying to Africa with 10 dollars in the pockets

As usual I had not been planning our holiday in time. Well we knew we were going down to Kampala but I had not booked the flights. Normally it was not a problem as the flights did not use to be full in June.

I was trying to get the bookings done online but the system kept refusing to do the final booking. Each time I re-tried the price would have gone up another 200 Dirhams.

Over the weekend we had been shopping for stuff we needed but for some reason neither the MasterCard nor the VISA card was working. I knew we had money so there should not be any problem but it did not matter were we went the cards were rejected. I saw other people shopping having the same problem. In the end I had 220 USD in cash left.
Being in Dubai this was a major problem.. Everywhere you go it is always possible to pay with cards so carrying cash was not normal.

Sunday morning I went to DNATA, while my wife was sleeping in, as we still had no bookings. I figured I could get a seat with my gold card and she already had her ticket but no seat.

I arrived at DNATA around 1030. Being in shorts and a T-shirt I was already casual enough :-) The T-shirt being black saying "I am not paid enough to be nice to you". I like T-shirts that are a bit sarcastic every now and then ;-)

It finally came to my turn and the girl at the travel desk start finding us some seats.
"Well Sir. You will have to wait 2 weeks before we can get you a seat." she says. What??? I need to fly sooner than that.. what about in business class.
Well Sir. it looks full but there are two seats on today's flight..
And today's flight is at 1430 so are you sure you can make it to the airport in that time. I said if you can book it fast and let me get back home right now then no problem. It was now 1130 already.

OK sir that will be 210 USD for the taxes and upgrade taxes. Again I tried to pay with the credit cards but they are still being rejected. Sir you will have to go and pay cash at the other counter.

I run over to the other counter and pull out 200 USD and then pay the rest in Dirhams. Leaving 10 USD only in the pocket....

I run back and it takes a while before the tickets are written out. At 1200 I finally run out of the place and start driving home. We live about 20 minutes away from DNATA office and of course about 40 minutes away from the airport. I call my wife "Honey we are flying in 2 and a half hours if not we have to wait 2 weeks, please pack asap I am home in a few minutes."What ? you must be mad" she says. "Well what to do We cant stay 2 more weeks" I counter. She agrees and I continue flying down sheik Zayed Road. Arriving home just before 1230. She was just about ready with all the bags and we pack them into the car. I did not even have time to change as we have to get to the airport within the next 30 minutes. Again we fly down Sheikh Zayed road and manage to get to the airport just after 1300. I drop her and the bags at the entrance and then find a parking for the car. We get our boarding passes and run through the airport. Seems I am always running in airports for some reason!

Pew, we get on board the plane and finally relax. The air hostesses are looking strange at me each time they pass. I wonder what is going on then I realize that I still have the T-shirt with the nice print on :-) Next time one of the girls serve me a drink I tell them the T-shirt is there to remind me I need to be nice to people. I can hear them discussing and having a laugh in the galley.

We arrive in Uganda and luckily we have someone meeting us as we would not even be able to pay a taxi to get back home.

It took another 3 days before the cards started working and then we managed to have a good holiday.

On my return back in Dubai I get out to the parking and of course the parking ticket were up to about 300 USD. I drive to the exit and try to pay. "Sorry sir we don't take credit cards!" - What?? all places in Dubai take cards. "No sir not us!"
I grab my 300 USD and ask the guy to accept dollars as I have no Dirhams yet. The guy reluctantly accept them, of course at a bad rate.

There simply is no win situation.

A few seconds from horror

The following was published in the news after Valentines day in Uganda a few years back.

"Between 1997 and 2001, suspected ADF operatives detonated a total of 48 bombs in Kampala, Iganga and Jinja, killing 88 people and injuring 268.

The most deadly attacks occurred on July 30, 1997 when a grenade thrown into a crowd on Queen's Way killed 10 and wounded 45, and on August 25, 1998, when bombs exploded in three different buses, killing a total of 20 people and injuring 35.

Many will also remember the 1999 Valentine's Day explosion in Telex Bar in Kabalagala, which claimed five lives and injured 34, and the bomb blast on Kafumbe Mukasa Road on April 24, 1999, which cost the lives of another five and wounded seven."

Me and my wife had been out having dinner and was on the way home. Taking the normal route through Kabalagala on the way to Bunga, both suburbs in Kampala.

We came to the T-junction heading towards the Telex bar and Family shop. Things just did not look normal. People were running up from the Telex bar area and I could not figure out what was going on. Sometimes there are some fight in town if people have caught a thief so we have gotten quite good at detecting trouble. Living in danger zones you have to go by the feelings you get in situations. If it feels bad then act as if it is bad.

Anyway we saw people running up the hill away from the Telex bar area. As I am looking down towards Telex bar a bomb blows up right in front of me. It was the first time I ever saw one actually go of so close, it was an eary feeling. I immediately turn to drive up the hill away from the place and call the incident in to the office.
The radio room is asking if it just happened now-now as they had a report just a few minutes ago also. I told them it was right now and that there must have been 2 blasts in that case. We continue home on the back roads (I know them all by now.) while monitoring the radio.

The rest of the night it was quiet and everyone was told to remain at home. The next morning I come in to the office and have a chat with our technicians. Bjoern one of the Norwegian guys then tell me. "I was sitting there at Telex bar and suddenly there was a bomb. I had dead bodies around me and even more injured people." Yet he did not even have a scratch on him. Obviously he had been protected by one of the dead people without even realizing it. He left the bar and was lucky to have gone away from the second bomb.

Later on I talked to the bouncers at my normal hangout "Capital pub" and they had stopped 2 guys with their bags from coming in as they had refused to show what was in them. The target had most likely been Capital as it was the most frequented place by expats among all the bars in the area.

Two of my wife's friends died in the bombing.

There are many ifs that I have though after that incident.

- What if we had been driving 3 minutes earlier?
- What if we had reached Capital, as the plan was to go there?
- What if the bouncers had not been vigilant?
- What if Bjoern had not been so lucky?

Luckily none of those ifs were the case though. Still touching wood.

My dear cat Sussie remembered

Yesterday my dear cat Sussie died. She was the most affectionate cat you could find.

I already had a cat at that time and my wife found Sussie in the middle of the winter outside in the snow. Scared, freezing and dirty. Just a small kitten maybe 6 months old. We could not imagine someone throwing out a cat so young in that way. But then maybe she had escaped. She was a young cat but very smart. At 6 months she new how to open a door by hanging on the door handle.

The first time I saw here she was so weak. I was in bed while my wife gave her a hot bath. As soon as she was dry she ran straight to bed and just wanted to lie right next to me. I don't know why but she wanted my comfort.

When we moved to Uganda we took the cats with us and Sussie has lived there ever since. From being an indoor cat she became a free cat who never went more than 100 meter or so from the house, by her own choice. She loved being out, lapping up the un, but she never forgot the feeling of being left out in the cold so she would always run back in the house.

As a cat she lived a very good life. Even if I travelled a lot there was always someone in the house looking after her. We never even rented out the house when moving to Dubai as I wanted her to have a good place to stay even if I could not be there all the time. People thought I was crazy, but I loved my cat!
She would be as independent as a cat can be and if she didn't want to be patted there was no chance to catch her. She however always came to me, jumping up in my lap, purring away.

Some people love dogs and some cats and I am for sure a cat person. While she would not make a sound when there was a threat she was very good as a watch-cat. Any time there was a threat outside I would simply look at were Sussie was looking. Long before anyone else she had already scouted out people coming close to the house, night or day. She was also very good at determining friendly people from not so friendly people. As there is a lot of mice, rats, snakes and other animals crawling around in Africa she had plenty to play with. For us it was very good. We never had any rodents or other animals in the house or even in the garden. The occasional Gecco would not survive for long.

Sussie became 12 years old.

My dear Sussie will always be remembered.

Once I climbed a mountain with the karamojong

I was on my way back from a mission in northeastern Uganda. All the radio installations were succesful and the staff in the suboffices were happy. they had though one request and that was to get them all connected together by radio.. Thus so they would be able to use their handsets to talk from office to office. I had seen the landscape and figured out that it should be no problem to achieve that final goal also. I had found that the perfect location would be Mount Napak or Napak hills as they referred to it. Asking around everyone told me it was an easy climb and that it would be easy to secure a location for a repeater on the top.



The plan was to head back to Kampala but as it was very early in the morning we figured that we could make it to the top and back and still make it to Kampala before sunset. The guys had told me it would take less than an hour to get to the top. We met with the local village council who was all to happy to appoint one of his deputies help us get on the way. We drove to the foot of the mountain were we met up with some Karamojong guys who would guide us up the mountain. The karamojong guys said it was an easy 30 minute walk to the top. Perfect we concluded as that would give us even more time to get back and on our way home.

the karamojong are tribe that roam around in Uganda and into Kenya with their cattle. They rarely build anything permanant. They rather just follow the seasons and the grazing patterns for their cattle. They are a very tall tribe and almost always dressed in a tradition chequered skirt. they dont carry any belongings with them except for the 3 essential things they have. A toothbrush, A walking stick and a woooden T shaped piece that can serve either as a stool or a pillow. that is it.. just the bare essentials. In some cases you will find them with a gun also. the gun is mainly for protection. Since they dont like to shoot their animals they sometimes do targetpractice on passing cars. The intent is not necessarily to kill but on a number of occasion ofcourse this has been the end result !?

The guides we got for the mountain was though not the gun carrying ones which made me more at ease.

We started to walk. As usual I carried a bottle of coke but as the walk was supposed to be like a walk in the park I only had a small bottle. We started of in a good pace withthe karimojong leading the way. I think it took about 10 minutes then all us rookies were tired.. these guys were not walking.. they were running!!! We requested them to take it slower and we managed another 10 minutes then we stopped again and said that maybe it is better we lead the way and they follow our pace.



Slowly we started to realize that this 30 minute walk was probably going to take a bit longer or shall we say much longer! As we felt we were already high up we decided that to eturn without reaching the peak would just be achieving nothing we all agreed that we would continue all the way even if it would take a bit longer time. 3 hours and 45 minutes later we finally reached the peak. The mountain is stnading about 1000 meter above the surrounding areas. On reaching the top we were told that we had passed several villages?! We had not seen any but they had seen us. As the karimojong living on the mountain are very suspicious to visitors they hide and only make themselves known if they know your intent.

The view from the top was spectacular. We could see almost 150 km towards the north or as far as we wanted the radiosignal to reach. We talked to the guys in the Kotido office just on our small radio and they could not believe we were on the mountain top so far away. We located a good site for a repeater and then it was time to head down again. By this time we were exhausted but the local guys had barely even raised the pulse one beat. I found out that it wss not uncommon that they ran up the mountain all the way, or ran between the different villages even if they were as far away as a marathon or two! At the same time I also realized that they actually had no concept of what 30 minutes would be. 30 minutes or 4 hours did not make a difference. You reach when you reach and that was it.

Continuing down we stopped at one of the villages and suddenly we were greated by the villagers. As we had run out of anything to drink they offered us water. Infact they even offered to slaughter a goat for a barbeque. We kindly said not to the goat but drank some very fresh water from the mountain. As they have a serious problem of guinea worm in most of the areas we had to sift the water through a napkin.

After a 20 minutes rest we continued down the mountain. It took almost as much time as going up and we were exhausted. We had though found a good site for our systems so I was happy with the climb.

852,231,021 the number is ... not 852 Million!

At work I am quite often requested to hold presentations or press conferences with dignitaries of various sorts. Since WFP is completely dependant on donations for any work every day we are becoming quite good salesmen but we are still not catching up it seems.

In all the presentations and conferences there is certain amount of numbers that probably any staff in the organisation can rattle on his five fingers. One of them is 852 Million. That is how many hungry poor there are in the world, or is it? Well first of all the numbers is so huge that we normally only see it in relation to how many millions a company is making in profit for their shareholders, or how much a new movie cashed in at the box office... There simply is no one who can relate to how many people that actually is. But the number is not 852 Million. I know, because it is 852,231,021. The difference is enormous.

I know it is 852,231,021 because I met number 852,231,020. It was a mother in Northern Democratic Republic of Congo in a small village outside Mbandaka. She was so frail that she could barely keep her body to sit upright. She tried her best as she was holding number 852,231,021 in her arms. Her little son who was probably anything between 3 to 12 months. I was not able to tell because the baby boy was so small and exhausted that he could not even let out a sound while crying.

I remember the situation as if it was happening right in front of me even today, 8 years later. On that mission I was the only white man on the whole place. The woman sitting there on the floor, barely able to hold herself up, trying to make herself dignified in front of me while her hollow eyes told a story that I can never forget. She did not utter a word, she didn't have to. Her eyes looked right into my soul with such a presence, I will never forget. I had brought my camera, but I couldn't bring myself to take a picture.

I knew the story already. - Are you the one who can save my baby????? Please help my baby, please give him a chance to live and grow up. She never uttered a word. But from that single moment I knew. There is nothing else that I want to spend my life working with, what could be more important.....

This is why I know the number is 852,231,021 and not 852 million, I have seen it with my own eyes. I have also seen about 329,094 other ones. Yes about!! Because I can simply not get the numbers straight, but I know that the number does not end with one two or even up to 6 zeroes!

Yet every day when I turn on the news I see 2 more dead American soldiers in Iraq, 3 more , 6 more and totals of what 3215 soldiers since the war ended, I dont even recall the number anymore. How come it is not rounded of to "just" about 3000. How come these numbers can be reported day in and day out for several years, as if it was big news. To tell you the truth I have stopped watching the news, I got fed up with the incredibly twisted reporting. I am sure it is important but in the scope of things it really is insignificant. I feel for the families of the dead soldiers. But it can never compare to what I feel for number 852,231,020 and her son 852,231,021.

Every 5 second a child dies. Tomorrow when I hold my 15 minute presentation another 181 children, yes 181 as even the "every 5 second" is rounded of, will have died. Yet it will not be on the news because the slot is taken by a story of someone killed in THE war, as school shooting killing 3 people somewhere or a bridge collapsing with 40 dead..a car crash killing 10 the list goes on. How extremely horrible that it happened, we hear. Hours on end the live broadcasts are going on even if it was "just" one person dead. I say "just" because somehow that this life was worth atleast as much as 5,000 or 10,000 in another Country or Continent. Oh, it was an American or Eurpoean!!! Then it must be news. To show the live coverage of the 25,059 people that die from hunger every day of our life, would be able to cover any news channel 24 hours a day, even if they showed each and every one of them for 3 seconds and just listed a name. Yet that is lumped together as another remote statistic. Just imagine it, a TV channel that every 3 seconds showed a new picture of another dead person. day in, day out, month in month out, year in year out..... the TV channel would have to continue for 93 years doing nothing else to reach the 852,231,021st picture.

I can only hope that 852,231,020 and 852,231,021 is still alive. That they were in the hospital atleast gave them both a head start compared to all the others who are still not able to make it even to such a place. I can only hope as I don't know, never will. What I do know is that this moment changed my life.. forever..

Lionel teach me how to bargain

We had been given the task of repairing and installing a big antenna given to us by the US Embassy in Kigali. After the war most of the equipment were either looted or destroyed. The antenna even being up on the roof had bullet-holes in many places.

Fixing the antenna and its mast took about 2 weeks and we needed to get new nuts and bolts and some other pieces for the final assembly.

We drove down town in Kampala to the local market with hundreds of shops, many selling the same things. We were sure we would find the odd bits and pieces we needed in the small shops.

As Lionel had been in Africa much longer than me I asked him to do the bargaining. Being a swede coming from a country were bargaining is a word that does not exist except for in a dictionary, I had never really understood got into it. If you find a shop which does not have the price on a tag back home then the shop would be closed as everyone would assume it is illegal.

We needed various types of nuts an bolts in hundreds each.

Lionel asked the store keeper for a size M5 x 35 size bolt and the store keeper brought one out.

- Whats the price for this one. Lionel said holding it up like it was a diamond.

- 500 sh..

- That must be the Muzungu (white mans) price, give me the real price.

- nono, this is the price for everyone.

- Ok. but I'll give you 200 for this one.

-450

- no too high.. ok 250...

- 400

- you know I will come back for more 300

- no Sir you are squeezing me too much you know my family is large 375

- ok let me buy it at 350 and we have a deal

- ok but you are tough you... ehhh?,

Lionel then asks the guy to bring out 100 of the bolts.

- that will be 35000 the storekeeper says.

- But you must have a quantity discount Lionel counters. 20% 15 % 10%?

- no Sir! this is the lowest price we already bargained on the price.

- but that can not be, there must be a discount on the quantity.

- ok ok I will give it to you for 33000.

- Why don't you just make it even at 30,000

- nono that is too low. 32500 Sir.

- ok yes I agree on 32000 Lionel says

- the store keeper swallows hard and accept.

The same sequence then start all over again with the nut for the bolt and another 10 different kinds of screws and nuts we needed. When the final outcome of all the bargained goods comes out Lionel says.

- now what is the final total.

332000 Shilling Sir.

-Ok why don't you round it off to 300,000 and we have a deal

- But sir you are going too far. I will not feed my family tonite. 330000. not lower

- oh come on I am a good customer and if you give me good price we will not go to any other shops. Give me 310000 and we have a deal.

- By this time the shopkeeper is getting very pale but give in to Lionel. - OK Sir 310000 but you better come back and bring more money next time as I will not make any profit on this sale.


The next time I went to the store the shopkeeper was a bit surprised. I said - See we do come back to a good shop.

The shopkeeper then say .. -I see, but your friend where is he? Oh, he has flown out on mission..
-Ok... you know, please don't come back with him .. ok? he is too tough.

- Ok, no problem I can do the shopping instead.

-what do you need.

Well I need this type bolt.... and give me a good price so we dont need to spend so much time bargaining. 500 he says as of course he though he would get it easier, then we start bargaining the same manner upon which the guy give me the same price as he gave Lionel--

- Oh no not you too!!!!! Ehh these muzungu's are too tough... not like the other ones who normally come around..

Next time I came around to the shop the store keeper is in the door.

-Oh you are back, Sir?!

-Yes I am back, I like your shop.

- Sir can't you please go to this shop across the road instead, I don't make any money on the sales to you.

- Nono I like your shop but I will make you a deal.. If you give a good price from the beginning then I will not bargain like this as I don't have the time and you will be getting something on top.

- the store keeper finally smiles and says ok ok sir. and we agreed on a price of 250 for the initial type bolts.

Speed trap African style

Once more me and Frode was out driving on the country side in Uganda. I had been given the "141" for the weekend and Frode had another land cruiser. Most of the time we would drive in separate cars and keep in touch over the radio as we both loved to drive especially if we could find some off road mud holes :-) We wanted to go visit some of the islands closer to Masaka and it was about a 2 hour drive from Kampala. We have driven that road so many times it was not really interesting to explore further.

As there was almost no traffic on the road we were speeding away at around 140km/h. The maximum speed in Uganda at the time was 80 km/h.

In some areas along the road there is very long hills up and down and sometimes the police set up speed controls. They didn't have any radars so it is kind of a gamble as to what they actually measure :-) If they stand up on one hill they can see the cars going faster than the others on the downhill slope of another hill.

Normally the police would not stop our cars. As we approach the top of one hill the police is frantically waving at me to pull over.

The police that pulled me over ask me to drive up to the next policeman about 20 meters away.

I drive over to that policeman and stop. Were this police was he could not have seen me speeding.

He looks at me and then the car. Then he ask me. - Why did my colleague pull you over?

- I don't know? (as I had never been pulled over in Uganda before)

Then the police turn around and shout something in the local language to his colleague, who shouts something back. He then turns back again stretching his hand into the car pointing at the speedometer.

- You were speeding!? Then he points his finger in a circle around anything between 80 -140 km/h.

- Ok... yes I might have been driving a little too fast coming down the hill, I say.

- You know speeding is not allowed.

- Yes.

Then he walks around the car and comes back and says.

-Ok Sir you know I should not stop you.

- Yes Sir.

- But you know you were speeding

The exchange continues like that for a while then he says.

-Why don't you buy me some tea.

-Sir you know I can't do that

- Yes Sir, but you were speeding

- Yes, I might have gone a bit too fast. But if I give you tea I would have to report it to the office.
- Hmm... Sir.. ok..... please continue but no speeding.

- Yes sir. will keep it within the limit.

- Ok, you know I should not stop you?!

-Yes Sir

- Ok have a nice day ssebo.

- Same to you Sir.

Then we continued to Masaka in the speed within the circle of what the policeman had pointed at. Still today I have not figured out if they have different rates for different speeds or if it is the same.

Waterskiing in a warzone

Having worked in the office 4 weeks in a row and finally come to a conclusion on the work, Benoit, one of the expats from the office said we should do something on the final Sunday to celebrate the work well done.

He had a small speedboat at the yacht club in town on lake Tanganyika. While we on several occasion's had lunch at the yacht club we had actually never even made it to the nice beach they have along the lake. As lake Tanganyika is a very deep lake with a lot of mineral deposits in the water the water was very clear and the beaches would make you think you were next to the ocean and not a lake.

The only caveat with swimming on the shores though was the crocodiles and hippopotamus that swam around the shores to look for food. The boat ride sounded like an excellent option for us to do some swimming in the lake.

We got the gear ready and that included some ski's for doing water skiing. I had only tried that twice before and then I only managed to actually ski for about 5 minutes on one of the trips.

We steered out in the lake and a friend of Benoit's who knew how to water ski was the first one in the water. being an expert she of course only needed the single ski and was doing tricks in the water. As usual things look so easy when you sit at the side.

After about 15 minutes it was my turn. I jumped in the water and got the two ski's on to my feet and got straightened out with the rope. IT took about 3 attempts for me to get up and out of the water I was already tired in my legs by then.. It is quite a lot of power to get out of the water if you are not used to it. Anyway up and away I went.

Faster and faster while I was holding on for dear life with both my hands. I kept going for a few minutes until I was really tired in my legs and arms. In theory I should have let go with one hand of the rope to signal that they should slow down. In practice I just realized that If I loos grip then for sure I would be falling anyway. I tried to wiggle my head to show them to slow down but who on earth would know that meant slow down. In the end I just thought If I just try to lean back a bit and let go of the rope then in theory I should slow down and keep the balance while sinking in to the water. Well that was the theory! what happened was that one ski went left, the other one right with one of the tips going under. Thus me doing some kind of -10 point somersault in the water. the ski design was made so that they would fall of if this happened to avoid breaking any legs.. If just my big toe had read the instruction book then maybe this would have worked. Well my toe was not broken but it was badly twisted. It was about double size and completely blue by the time I got out of the water.

As usual I kept telling the guys I was OK while holding on for dear life not to start screaming out in the air. It took about 20 minutes then the pain had settled down a bit so I could enjoy the ride anyway.

After another hour cruising around Benoit told us it was time for lunch. He had arranged with some more friends to meet up in the middle of the lake. We saw about 5 boats approaching fast and we just sat there in the middle tying the boats together in a perfect place to enjoy the sun and the lake. There was not a cloud in the blue sky and it was about 28 degrees C.

The newly arrived friends had packed a well equipped lunchbox with cooled French white wine, Champagne and beer. Food wise we had a selection of nice pate's, salads and barbecued chicken.

While we were enjoin our lunch on the lake we started hearing and seeing the mortars flying from the hills around Bujumbura toward town. With loud bangs echoing on the lake when the mortars hit the ground. We had heard them while we worked in the office but this was the first time we could actually see them hit town. They normally hit town about 5 kilometres from our office.

It was just a surreal feeling. Here we are sitting having a very nice lunch on the lake with a war raging between rebels and the government troops. Even though I knew we were in country at war it was like it was still so far away yet we could see and hear the mortars and shooting.

We continued our lunch on the lake as if nothing had happened. The mortar-fire was a daily occasion since several months and since the curfew had just been lifted it was like holiday for the guys who had been there during the worse period... 6 months of not being able to go anywhere but home before it got dark around 1800.

We swam a bit more before heading back in to town again. At least we had been able to see something other than the office and hotel..

The next morning me and JJ took a small flight over to Ngozi in the north of the country, but that is another story.

no froglegs today?

While working in Bujumbura I discovered a new treat. The town having a colonial past have a good mix of french/Belgian cuisine so in several restaurants , even during the embargo it was possible to get very nice food. Good steaks, fish and why not frog legs. "cuisses grenouille" pardon my french! :-)

This was a dish I would never even have considered trying when I was younger but once I got the travel bug in general , part of the excitement was trying the local dishes as well as anything I would potentially not find back home.

After having tried the frog legs once in town I kind of enjoyed munching on these legs :-) and it became a regular starter when I was in town.

Some of my friends from Kampala had arrived and at lunch I suggested them to try this delicacy.

Then the waiter , a bit embarrassed says - Pardon Monsieur, no Frog legs today (in french of course)

- hmm no frog legs and here I have finally convinced my friends to try them?! All my friend of which half from Uganda sighed with relief.

- No monsieur, you know..... the rebels.

- what.. the rebels... What do the rebels have to do with my frog legs??

- Monsieur, you know the area where the rebels shell the town with mortars.

- Yes

- Pardon monsieur, but that is where the frog farm is and yesterday the military was doing raids so no delivery today.

-!!!!!

There should not be many valid reasons for a restaurant not to have the food written on the menu but who can argue with this reason.!!


Only in Africa

Helping hand

The office had given me the "141". 141 was the last digits on the registration plate on the Land cruiser once donated by SRSA (Swedish Rescue Services Agency). We were in the end only two guys who wanted to drive it as it was a left hand steered car in a left hand drive country... Thus you ended up sitting at the end of the road with little vision on the center of the road when passing other cars.

The car was a special one as it was a Land cruiser fully equipped with double transceivers on both HF and VHF. It was essentially a mobile command centre ready to go to any emergency and with stickers all over so it could not be mistaken for any other car. It was also equipped with a winch to be able to get out of bad situations in mud.

In those days it was common that expats were allowed to take the official vehicles home over night as it was the only way to properly disburse the cars, thus minimizing the risk of theft and potential terror attacks during the night. It was easy to throw a grenade into our office compound in Kampala and immediately take out 10 or more vehicles.

Me and Frode, another of my colleagues were heading out for some fun as it was weekend. His girlfriend had also joined in for the trip down to Haandi for dinner. From there we would then find our way to the local night scene.

When heading back we took the normal route. In Kampala streetlights are a luxury we keep dreaming of thus all the roads are treacherous. Partly because of all the potholes, which can reach enormous proportions as the road repairs leave a lot to desire in most parts of town. Well the pothole is one problem but the way people seem to avoid them is by driving completely around them rather than taking a visual stock of how to negotiate the hole while still getting it under the centre of the car. I have probably done thousands of maneuvers to avoid cars with drivers who simply focus on the hole rather than looking at oncoming traffic!

The other threat is the potential for robbery or accidents during the night.

We turned up on the very steep hill and as usual we drove with the full "Hella" lights turned on. We had them installed both on the roof and in front on the bull bar. On both sides of this road there was a very deep ditch, just about a meter in depth and about 1 meter wide. This was to ensure the rainwater would not carry away the road during the heavy rains we normally experience.

To our amazement there was a car standing with the back wheels up in the air and the nose down in the ditch. Both front wheels were in the ditch. Me and Frode looked at each other and by the sign on his face he was thinking the same as me.. "Lets get to work and help these guys out."

We thought that, with the winch and the strength in our car this would be a piece of cake. It was an elderly couple and they were very scared even though no one was injured. There was no damage to the car in general so to us it looked like they had driven slowly or tried to do a u-turn.. Making a u-turn in hat area would be a crazy thing to do but we have seen worse happen many times.

We tried to find a space to hook up the car but we could see that it was an old car with rust in all the bad places so we had to make sure we got it right or the couple would probably start chasing after us for wrecking their car.

While we were trying to get light in the right spots and get the cable around one of the local guys, who saw our car parked with full headlights, joined in. We told him we did not need any help as we had it under control. The old couple did not speak too much English and the guy started talking to the couple and was waiving his arms in different directions. Sometimes hovering over us with out commenting anything to us. But then back to the old couple waiving his arms and continuing to talk in one of the local languages.

Somehow we managed to fix the wire in 3 points and then started pulling. We adjusted one of the wires and then managed to get the car out unharmed. The old couple were very happy and thankful. We rolled in the cable and jumped in to our car waving goodbye to the couple. Frode's girlfriend then said.

- What are you not going to charge them some money?!

Again me and Frode looked at each other and burst out laughing. - What do you mean charging?! we both countered in tune as if we had rehearsed the timing.

- but ofcourse they have to pay you guys for helping them.

We countered that, back home in Scandinavia if someone is in trouble it is just common courtesy to help out and anyone would help and would think none of it. The girl looked completely lost at that time and we laughed again. For us it was just a nice thing to do and as usual we always looked at situations to see if we could find a solution to a challenge.

- but..... the girl countered again - The guy who was talking to the couple and waiving his arms...

- yeah ?!

- Well he got 10,000 Ughs from the couple.

- What do you mean he got money ?!

- Well I heard him telling the old couple that as we knew nothing on how to pull out cars he would take control of the situation and tell us what to do.and thus supervise the situation so their car would get safely out of the ditch.

- What!!!?? are you sure.

- Yes that is what he told them and I saw that they gave him the money.

We b0th looked puzzled but then we concluded- Well this is crazy Kampala...

We did the job and another guy got 4 beers out of it :-)

My second flight with UN, the real inititation to the work

I had just dismantled the technical equipment from our office in Mwanza and was ready to fly back to Kampala. It was as my 30th birthday and this was the first time I actually worked on my birthday but work was so new and interesting that it was not on my mind in a negative way rather on the contrary.

After the adventure with the small beech craft I was not sure what was in store for my return. I just knew it would not be the same plane but the rest I would never even have been able to imagine.



The Norwegian guys who had been running the small logistics coordination office already started to celebrate in the morning as it was "syttene Maj" well 17th of may for the uninitiated.. that is the day the whole of Norway is celebrating my birthday or their national day :-)

We packed up the last pieces and they said lets join the 2nd Iljusin -76 and fly back with that one to Entebbe.

The iljusin is one of the real work horse planes that we use for transporting whatever is needed. there was 3 of them that had been based in Mwanza and they were all wrapping up the last flights as the operation in DRC Congo was scaling down after the Rwanda Genocide.

We saw the first one take off fully loaded with food commodities for the refugees in Kisangani.
the noise they make when taking off can not really be described. It is just enormous and there are no normal commercial planes like it. Looking inside it is a purely mechanical plane and if there is any electronics it is with old Valves or Tubes as we would find in radios from the 50s and 60s. All the control wires are fully visible inside to save on weight and cost.

The crew for a plane is quite large as they carry their own spares and repair equipment so they are almost completely self sufficient... With a Russian crew just give the plane fuel and the crew some Vodka and the flights are on the way :-)

As it was their last flight run before returning back home to Russia they were in both a sad mood but also celebrating their departure from a job well done. their return to Russia effectively meant that they would be out of a job as there was money nor interest in actually repairing the planes to get them back in business. (this was in 1997)


We sat in the back when taking off. I asked if there was any seat we needed to take with seat belts but it was obvious that this plane was not equipped with such luxuries. We could sit anywhere we wanted or why not simply lie down on the bags the plane was full of. When an illusin takes of and land it is almost not noticeable compared to other planes.. It basically drives off horizontally until it just lifts without any angle upward to speak of. the crew in the back were refreshing themselves with some black label and so did both me and the Norwegian guys.

After abut 3 hours we reached Kisangani and the pilot flew around the airport 2 turns before landing. As it was in a potential war zone with both government troops, rebels as well as rebel fighters from Rwanda in the vicinity a constant lookout was needed. Once the pilot was satisfied everything was OK he talked to his friends from the first plane on the ground and we landed.

The reason why we had to fly to Kisangani even though it was half the way through DRC, for the Rwanda crisis, was that the people had by any means tried to avoid the genocide and had basically disappeared into the jungles around Goma/Bukavu only to somehow appear in and around Kisangani several hundreds of kilometres away.

We parked the plane and opened the doors. there was a lot of military on the ground and the atmosphere was very tense. I had a camera and took some pictures from inside the plane but did not take it outside.. that proved to be a very good decision as one of the other guys was almost attacked instantly when trying to take photos of the plane in front of the building.

About 30 people started offloading the plane by hand. The 50 kilo bags of food disappeared in rapid succession out of the plane. After about 30 minutes they were ready.

I was then informed by the pilot that we would bring all the people that we saw standing in line on board the plane and fly them to Kigali.

I will never forget the sights nor the smell of what was to follow.

The crew rolled out some blue tarps on the floor in the plane. then they locked the entrance between the cargo hull and the cockpit and informed us to not under any circumstance open the door once we were in the air.

We all started helping the refugees getting onto the plane. They moved slowly and were so weak and skinny with hollow eyes barely able to focus on anything. In every ones eyes you could just see the fear. The knew they would be returning to a country which had just been hell on earth. They all carried a small returning pack consisting of some water and some little food. Mothers carrying their children. Each time we led someone into the plane their eyes were just saying one thing, please don't let anyone harm us, yet they spoke nothing.

Talking to our guys on the ground I was informed that I was lucky to come at this time.. If I had arrived even one week before I would have seen people in much worse shape than I now saw.

We helped about 350 people into the plane. The all sat down on the floor stomach to back in several rows.

The main cargo door was closed and we climbed into the cockpit.
As there was no seat anymore the pilot told me I could even watch the take-off standing behind his seat. I was a bit sceptical so I instead found a small cushion which I placed next to the navigator who is sitting below the pilots. It would be the perfect view to somehow feel the acceleration of the plane and see the rush of the ground running passed as we took off.

We taxed out started taking off. Once we had reached an altitude of about 500 metres it got cloudy several times. Suddenly I see another iljusin right in front of us heading directly towards us. the pilot quickly made a maneuver banking right. Luckily the other plane did the same... Only then did the navigator notice that he had forgotten to turn on the radar.

The flight went smooth after that and we continued somehow celebrating but in a more subdued way. The people in the back had been through hell and survived and they were now on the way home and would hopefully be living a better life than the had for the last 2 -3 years.

When we landed in Kigali airport I stood behind the pilot and I could barely even feel when the wheels touched the runway.

There was even more soldiers on the ground at this airport than I had seen elsewhere. We got out on the runway and the soldiers was commandeering everyone left and right. the cargo door was not to be opened until all the buses for the refugees had arrived. The tension was quite high. the trust among the people was virtually none and due to the situation no one could know if there potentially would be interahamwe among the returning refugees. So everyone would have to be screened once they reached their camp.

The smell was horrendous. Most of these people had never been in a plane let alone even seen one. That combined with the fear of returning meant that many had defecated right then and there in the plane. Luckily no one had panicked and they were helped of the plane to the buses.

Once the plane was empty it was cleaned up and we later on took of for Entebbe. The crew was getting more and more frisky with the vodka and they started to sing their traditional songs.
We landed at Entebbe just at sunset. I fell asleep in the Land cruiser on the way back to Kampala with very mixed feelings. Sadness, Happiness, Excitement, Anger all mixed into one. It was my 30th birthday and on my first mission I had seen upfront and close what the real work our agency do.

My first flight with UN

I had just been on my job 2 weeks when Peter (my boss for almost 10years by now) asked me to fly down to Mwanza in Tanzania to close down a small coordination office we had there at the end of the Rwanda war. A lot of refugees were still up in DRC in Kisangani and Goma area.

I was very exited. It as my first flight in Africa to actually be able to fly over Lake Victoria and see the nature closer up from the air during daytime.

As it was my first flight with a UN plane the guys had informed me to go and talk to the air ops guy Stig. A very nice Norwegian guy who I keep crossing paths with in various emergencies.

Stig was at this time getting ready for a well deserved break as he had been a major player for the flight corridors between Entebbe and Rwanda as well as towards DRC.

I had not even reached the office when I heard his Norwegian accent shouting while speaking on the handheld radio.

He appointed Ivan, his assistant, to join me and do the formalities and get me to the lounge. In the same breath he gave strict instruction to Ivan not to leave me out of sight, even for a minute.

We got through all the paperwork ok and were sitting looking out over the tarmac and the planes landing.

Finally my plane UNK -95 arrived. Over my handheld radio I could hear Stig's voice giving instructions to various people. Suddenly he starts shouting "IVAAAN where are you". Ivan jumping out of his seat trying to answer the radio in the same breath. " I am with your passenger"
"But you know the passenger cant get lost if he already is at the gate.. I need you by the plane."
"Yes Sir" and Ivan was with his legs on the back heading down to the plane.

As I was just interested in what was in general happening I kept listening on the radio traffic.

I saw Ivan running towards the plane when a loud voice again come on the radio. "Ivan- where are you, are you with the pilot now? Before Ivan even got a chance to answer Stig once more shout over the radio... " Ivaaann-- why have you not gotten the fuel truck to the plane"

Looking out of the tarmac I see Ivan standing right in between the plane, holding his handheld radio and just looking confused. I felt sorry for him. Even the few minutes I spent with him it was clear he was a nice guy and did everything he could to ensure everything went smooth. There simply is only so much one guy can do with conflicting instructions.

In the end the plane got fuelled and the pilot and co-pilot left the plane and walked around on the tarmac. Me and 2 more passengers were ready to board.

Once more we hear Stig on the radio " Ivaaaan - why are you not with the passenger!!!!" upon which Ian without answering the radio make way up to our gate in very fast long steps.

We all enter the tarmac and head over to the plane. A small beech craft which was in use more than a year for our operation only.

I say hi to the pilot and his co pilot. The Pilot was a Kenyan guy and the co pilot a fellow swede.

They both ask us not to board the plane yet as they are inspecting the plane. Once done they both disappear into the plane and starts discussing something.

finally the co-pilot comes out and informs us that the flight is cancelled as they had found some "technical" problem with the plane.

Talking to the co-pilot in our native tongue I find out that the pilot is angry as he did not get any coffee on arrival and therefor just want to cancel the flight.

However no they had a problem....

The had arrived with the son of the country director for our operation in Burundi who was on the way to meet his father for a few days.

Once a plane is declared not suitable for passengers... they cant carry passengers.... Yet they had this 12 year old, boy whom they had taken on responsibility for.

They again discussed, and in the end they came to the conclusion that they would have to take the boy back, leave us on the ground and fly back to Nairobi.

3 hours later the plane arrived back and we continued to Mwanza... the pilot was another one :-) the co-pilot was the same..

While I flew UNK-95 many times after that, I never saw the pilot again.

Checking in Air Afrique way

I had just ended my one week mission in Chad and was about to take the 2 times weekly Air Afrique flight between Ndjamena and Niamey.. in Niger...

On advice from the team from our local office I arrived 3 hours before takeoff. On this particular trip while flying business class on the long-haul flights I had not qualified for a business class ticket on the 1 hour flight I would be going on. Price wise it had however not mattered so the travel-unit had kindly booked me in the higher class.

Little did I know that this move would end up saving me either one week in mission time or a lot of money as it happened.

Standing in in the cue-line as the 2nd passenger to arrive to the airport I was just soaking in the athmosphere at the airport. While small, it was a busy place, with people shouting across the whole departure areas as there seemed no need to go close to a person to talk to them.

I looked around and all the doors to the check-in was closed with no presence of anything than guards giving away a sense that something should start soon.

There was a solid fence and a locked cage type door which would have to be passed with the normal x-ray before even checking in the luggage. Me and a colleague from another UN agency sat there waiting.

The flight we were both booked on was a large 747 which was doing a run from Paris, via Niamey to Ndjamena then with a continuation straight to Paris again.

While waiting we started to notice that one of the conveyor belt doors for the luggage was open into what seemed the back office of the check in area.

We saw no Air Afrique staff but we started seeing a number of normal people just enter through the hole and it they came out with boarding passes !? We could not see if it was for our flight or another one but it was just giving me a strange feeling. After seeing this practice on several occasions I asked my driver if we should not also go in there and just get our boarding pass... nononono he said.It was not for our flight we should just wait in line.

Seeing an endless line of people entering the small hole was quite comical but it kept giving me an uneasy feeling.

Once the actual door opened and the Air Afrique manager came out he simply explained in french that the flight was full and we could go home!?

Hmmm...that is not exactly what I had in mind... neither my colleague. Together with our respective drivers we started and seemingly endless discussion about getting a seat.. Mind you we had both reconfirmed our tickets 72 hours before as we knew we had to..

the manager was adamant, the flight was full and that was the end of story as far as he was concerned. Then suddenly he noted that my ticket was a business class ticket while my colleagues was an economy.

He took both tickets and disappeared for about 10 minutes only to return with a boarding pass for me in first class. My colleague was simply informed that there was no seat. the same was again reiterated to all the people behind us in the cue-line. The majority of these people had also re-confirmed their ticket. I was quickly whisked through the security and in to the lounge area.

While sitting waiting almost an hour my colleague finally made it in to the lounge... He was not very happy. He had been refused with no chance on getting the flight and had basically been forced to buy an alternative ticket.. Chad - Niamey via PARIS!!! As he was the main presenter at a meeting in Niamey the next day, with participants having flown from 10 different countries just for him, he had no other option.

We parted way and I went over to the Immigrations officer to get my passport stamped. The immigration officer asked me for my visa paper. I said the visa is in the UN passport as we could both see. nonono he says there was a paper I was given on arrival in two copies of which I needed one... If I did not have that I would have to pay a fee..... Hmm what fee? I had asked the office staff if there was anything needed and they had told me no. nothing.

hmm... We argued for about 10 minutes and then he let me through without stamping my passport...hmmm...

On arrival at the gate there was still time so we all had to wait. Once we started boarding, again immigration was there wanting to see the passports. Once they saw mine of course there was discussion and they asked me to step aside... everyone else boarded and they still held on to my passport asking for the paper and in connection with that ..some money to solve the problem... Being stubborn as I am I figured if they really stop me and make me miss the plane there will be a record of an event that would lead to more problem for them than me so I managed to keep my cool. Even though not understanding half of what they said as it was in french made it a bit difficult.

Finally the purser came out asking what was going on and somehow managed to convince the immigrations guys that it was not a very good solution to retain me to miss the flight and they gave in. Once more I was on my way.

Mind you last time I was in Dakar I saw about 10 Air Afrique planes on the ground seemingly with no way to get in the air again as the company went bankrupt.... wonder why?!

Dont try so hard :-)

I was about to end a mission in West Africa which had seen me covering 5 countries in less than 3 weeks. For once I had the luxury of flying business class. Working for a large humanitarian organisation we normally only get that treat if it is more than 9 hours flight. On this particular trip I would spend an estimated 17 hours in the air.

Routes

Bamako - Paris

Paris - Gatwick

Gatwick - Entebbe

What happened is an entirely different story....

Looking at the above itinerary do note that to get from West Africa to East Africa the fastest and most reliable way is, through Europe or via South Africa!

I boarded the Air France plane in Bamako and settled in fast, drinking some champagne, thinking back at a very interesting mission. As normally expected the takeoff was about 1 hour late. With the 3 hour transit time I would have enough time to make it between the gates even if we were a bit late, so I had my dinner and fell asleep.

The flight was event less and we landed with just over 1.5 hours time to transit. Since I had a full business class ticket all the way I approached the guys at Paris asking if there was a fast way to get me over to the Gatwick flight fast.

But monsieur you arrived on a Air Fraaaaance flight and now you will fly on British Aiiirways.
We do not -ave any shuttle for fast transit when you change airlines... why don't you buy a full air fraaaance ticket all the way, monsieur.

Not going into the details of Paris airport but it is the most confusing airport I have seen. It took me almost 1 hour to get from my arrival gate to the gate I am leaving at. I could not see any transit centres so I went to the gate as time was short.
At the gate they tell me - sorry Monsieur but you can not board as we are closing the gate in 5 minutes and you have to go to transfer desk first.... !!! I am here. I have my ticket. I have no luggage.. I am in business class.... nothing worked.

I look over and see that in 20 minutes there is another flight but to Heathrow.... aha. with my business class tickets I should be able to get on that one and then get between the airports in London within an hour.. It used to be 45 minutes transit...I remembered.

I run down to the transit desk they so kindly pointed out to me.. Well it is a 5 minute run on conveyor belts made of.... rubber...

I inform the lady behind the counter that I need to be on the flight BA 234 leaving in 15 minutes! she looks in the computer and says but the manifest is closed... I less kindly inform her that Airfrance do not want to take action and I was in time for a BA flight and they refuse me to board and I will not have any more of that....

Eventually the lady against all the rules manages to get me on the manifest with some kind of fake booking but with a boarding pass with a handwritten seat number on. She tell me to run to the flight which I did and on arrival the ladies at the check in is already complaining before I can even show my boarding card. Well monsieur but of course you can not board as we have no food on board for you as you are too late. I repeat the story of how I have been treated by Air France and BA in various periods on the flight and am finally allowed on board.

We take off and I sit in my business class seat and had... breakfast.....

On arrival at Heathrow I run out of the plane and grab the first BA person I can find on the ground to get me a boarding pass on the Gatwick flight ;-)

The answer was of course. - there is two hours left to the flight we will not confirm your seat and by the way there is a jam on the roads due to construction so you will not make it.

No one can tell me I wont make the flight, I think to myself, while running through another airport. I had only hand luggage (mind you it weigh about 10 -12 kilos. Exhausted as I was, I found the shuttle bus terminal. I just saw a buss pulling away so it would be 15 minutes to the next one, I was told.

No worries, the taxi stand was just 2 more minutes away and luckily no cue there so I got into one of the standard London taxis.

The driver with his wide Scottish accent kindly informed me that there is a bit of a traffic jam so he thought it would take a while to reach there. I informed him that I only have one hour to spare and even then I would be cutting it close. With the enticement of a bonus :-) he agreed to try avoid the worst jams and we were on our way.

I then turn to organizing my papers to get ready for the arrival at Gatwick only to find that I had lost my national passport. Hmm... now were did that happen. Well nothing to do as I would most likely not find it back even if returning to the airport so did not worry the driver with that fact...

(Tracing my steps back it was clear to me that I had forgotten it at the bus terminal as I was tying my shoelaces while they guy was informing me of the time for the next bus ..)

Looking a the situation I tried to remember if they actually check passports when you leave UK. I knew I had been stamped in to the country. Since I had my UN passport I should be able to get out of a country but there might be some explaining to do as they don't necessarily like UN passports in countries close to home, for some mysterious reasons.

With 45 minutes to spare before planned takeoff I arrived at Gatwick and ran to the check in desk.
- What flight are you on, Sir.
- Entebbe in 42 minute I said I hope I can still make it.
- Well Sir you know you should be here at least 2 hours before.
- Yes Sir I am aware but it seems that there was a slight delay on my BA ticket and no support to get me between the airports, I countered.
- Oh what a pity but let me see. Oh yes it is still possible to check you in if you have no luggage and if you can run to the gate.
- Sure no problem... Running.. that is the only way I have seen airports so far today.

I got my boarding pass and ran to immigration, expecting another battle, but to my surprise there was actually no passport control to exit the country?!

I get to the gate and am the last person to board, drowning in sweat by this time as running with 10 kilos of hand luggage through crowds at three airport kind of does that to you.

Got into my seat and they close the door. Yeah I made it!! I think to my self. The crew is busy getting ready for takeoff and then the pilot comes on the loudspeaker.


" Welcome on board. This flight bound for Entebbe has a technical problem. Not to worry as it is just a small technical problem with one of the lights in the console and the spare part is on the way. Once we get the replacement we should be ready for takeoff. It will though take 30 minutes before we get the piece. Meanwhile sit back and relax and enjoy the in flight entertainment."

Haven't we heard that phrase a few times to many ...

After 1 hour!! the Pilot then announces.

" Dear Passengers. We have now switched the light on the console and everything is in order so we can continue with the flight."

The engine starts reving up on one side of the plane. Then instead of hearing the engines on the other side rev up the initial one is turned off...?!

Once again the captain comes on the loudspeaker with an entirely different voice.

" Dear Passengers. It seems that the indicator light has once more come on as soon as we started the engine. This unfortunately means that the flight will be cancelled. The good news is that we will re-instate this same flight in 24 hours and we will arrange accommodation for you. For those who need to be re-routed sooner please contact the transfer desk. Everyone else please remain in the plane until our shuttle buses has arrived."

Hmmm... What to do I am thinking. I have come this far , lost my passport, paid heavy on the taxi, run through 3 airports only to be waiting 24 hours.... No way was the answer- I am going to Entebbe.

I get out of the plane and in rapid pace, head over to the transit desk and explain to the lady that I have to reach Entebbe in shortest possible time.

Ok we have the following option we can offer, she says.

You take the next plane from Gatwick to Amsterdam which is in 35 minutes then you will have to wait there 1 hour before the flight from Amsterdam to Nairobi. And finally wait another hour for the last leg between Nairobi to Entebbe. I asked if it was the fastest way and she confirmed.

Great now we are rolling, I thought. I would still arrive in the night even though 8 hours later than originally planned.

The flight between Gatwick and Amsterdam was uneventful and for a change, on time!

I get on the flight to Nairobi noting that business class in this plane is not really the same as BA but if it is on time at least there is one plus :-)

The arrival into Nairobi was uneventful even though with a 30 minute delay due to headwind. As we were quite a large number of passengers continuing to Entebbe they announced that the Kenya Airways flight would await our arrival even if we were a bit late.

Once out of the plane the scramble for the Entebbe gate starts only to find that the plane has already left (despite what we had been told)

It is now 0230 in the morning and KLM inform us that they would take us all to a hotel and then return us well in time for the flight at 0900 in the morning.
As luck has it of course they could not arrange transport for so many people and we actually did not arrive at the hotel until 0330, check in took another 30 minutes. Thus fall into bed a 0400 only to wake up again at 0630 as we had to be at the airport at 0700 even if the had all our papers... Thus sitting waiting 2 hours while still being in zombie mode.


The final leg................don't remember anything from the flight but at 1000 I arrive in Entebbe completely exhausted.

The BA plane from Gatwick landed 2 hours after I had arrived in Entebbe, sighhhh.

The lesson learned... When things start going wrong.. don't fight it ... go with the flow and see were it takes you :-) You might get more sleep :-)