Lionel teach me how to bargain

We had been given the task of repairing and installing a big antenna given to us by the US Embassy in Kigali. After the war most of the equipment were either looted or destroyed. The antenna even being up on the roof had bullet-holes in many places.

Fixing the antenna and its mast took about 2 weeks and we needed to get new nuts and bolts and some other pieces for the final assembly.

We drove down town in Kampala to the local market with hundreds of shops, many selling the same things. We were sure we would find the odd bits and pieces we needed in the small shops.

As Lionel had been in Africa much longer than me I asked him to do the bargaining. Being a swede coming from a country were bargaining is a word that does not exist except for in a dictionary, I had never really understood got into it. If you find a shop which does not have the price on a tag back home then the shop would be closed as everyone would assume it is illegal.

We needed various types of nuts an bolts in hundreds each.

Lionel asked the store keeper for a size M5 x 35 size bolt and the store keeper brought one out.

- Whats the price for this one. Lionel said holding it up like it was a diamond.

- 500 sh..

- That must be the Muzungu (white mans) price, give me the real price.

- nono, this is the price for everyone.

- Ok. but I'll give you 200 for this one.

-450

- no too high.. ok 250...

- 400

- you know I will come back for more 300

- no Sir you are squeezing me too much you know my family is large 375

- ok let me buy it at 350 and we have a deal

- ok but you are tough you... ehhh?,

Lionel then asks the guy to bring out 100 of the bolts.

- that will be 35000 the storekeeper says.

- But you must have a quantity discount Lionel counters. 20% 15 % 10%?

- no Sir! this is the lowest price we already bargained on the price.

- but that can not be, there must be a discount on the quantity.

- ok ok I will give it to you for 33000.

- Why don't you just make it even at 30,000

- nono that is too low. 32500 Sir.

- ok yes I agree on 32000 Lionel says

- the store keeper swallows hard and accept.

The same sequence then start all over again with the nut for the bolt and another 10 different kinds of screws and nuts we needed. When the final outcome of all the bargained goods comes out Lionel says.

- now what is the final total.

332000 Shilling Sir.

-Ok why don't you round it off to 300,000 and we have a deal

- But sir you are going too far. I will not feed my family tonite. 330000. not lower

- oh come on I am a good customer and if you give me good price we will not go to any other shops. Give me 310000 and we have a deal.

- By this time the shopkeeper is getting very pale but give in to Lionel. - OK Sir 310000 but you better come back and bring more money next time as I will not make any profit on this sale.


The next time I went to the store the shopkeeper was a bit surprised. I said - See we do come back to a good shop.

The shopkeeper then say .. -I see, but your friend where is he? Oh, he has flown out on mission..
-Ok... you know, please don't come back with him .. ok? he is too tough.

- Ok, no problem I can do the shopping instead.

-what do you need.

Well I need this type bolt.... and give me a good price so we dont need to spend so much time bargaining. 500 he says as of course he though he would get it easier, then we start bargaining the same manner upon which the guy give me the same price as he gave Lionel--

- Oh no not you too!!!!! Ehh these muzungu's are too tough... not like the other ones who normally come around..

Next time I came around to the shop the store keeper is in the door.

-Oh you are back, Sir?!

-Yes I am back, I like your shop.

- Sir can't you please go to this shop across the road instead, I don't make any money on the sales to you.

- Nono I like your shop but I will make you a deal.. If you give a good price from the beginning then I will not bargain like this as I don't have the time and you will be getting something on top.

- the store keeper finally smiles and says ok ok sir. and we agreed on a price of 250 for the initial type bolts.

Speed trap African style

Once more me and Frode was out driving on the country side in Uganda. I had been given the "141" for the weekend and Frode had another land cruiser. Most of the time we would drive in separate cars and keep in touch over the radio as we both loved to drive especially if we could find some off road mud holes :-) We wanted to go visit some of the islands closer to Masaka and it was about a 2 hour drive from Kampala. We have driven that road so many times it was not really interesting to explore further.

As there was almost no traffic on the road we were speeding away at around 140km/h. The maximum speed in Uganda at the time was 80 km/h.

In some areas along the road there is very long hills up and down and sometimes the police set up speed controls. They didn't have any radars so it is kind of a gamble as to what they actually measure :-) If they stand up on one hill they can see the cars going faster than the others on the downhill slope of another hill.

Normally the police would not stop our cars. As we approach the top of one hill the police is frantically waving at me to pull over.

The police that pulled me over ask me to drive up to the next policeman about 20 meters away.

I drive over to that policeman and stop. Were this police was he could not have seen me speeding.

He looks at me and then the car. Then he ask me. - Why did my colleague pull you over?

- I don't know? (as I had never been pulled over in Uganda before)

Then the police turn around and shout something in the local language to his colleague, who shouts something back. He then turns back again stretching his hand into the car pointing at the speedometer.

- You were speeding!? Then he points his finger in a circle around anything between 80 -140 km/h.

- Ok... yes I might have been driving a little too fast coming down the hill, I say.

- You know speeding is not allowed.

- Yes.

Then he walks around the car and comes back and says.

-Ok Sir you know I should not stop you.

- Yes Sir.

- But you know you were speeding

The exchange continues like that for a while then he says.

-Why don't you buy me some tea.

-Sir you know I can't do that

- Yes Sir, but you were speeding

- Yes, I might have gone a bit too fast. But if I give you tea I would have to report it to the office.
- Hmm... Sir.. ok..... please continue but no speeding.

- Yes sir. will keep it within the limit.

- Ok, you know I should not stop you?!

-Yes Sir

- Ok have a nice day ssebo.

- Same to you Sir.

Then we continued to Masaka in the speed within the circle of what the policeman had pointed at. Still today I have not figured out if they have different rates for different speeds or if it is the same.

Waterskiing in a warzone

Having worked in the office 4 weeks in a row and finally come to a conclusion on the work, Benoit, one of the expats from the office said we should do something on the final Sunday to celebrate the work well done.

He had a small speedboat at the yacht club in town on lake Tanganyika. While we on several occasion's had lunch at the yacht club we had actually never even made it to the nice beach they have along the lake. As lake Tanganyika is a very deep lake with a lot of mineral deposits in the water the water was very clear and the beaches would make you think you were next to the ocean and not a lake.

The only caveat with swimming on the shores though was the crocodiles and hippopotamus that swam around the shores to look for food. The boat ride sounded like an excellent option for us to do some swimming in the lake.

We got the gear ready and that included some ski's for doing water skiing. I had only tried that twice before and then I only managed to actually ski for about 5 minutes on one of the trips.

We steered out in the lake and a friend of Benoit's who knew how to water ski was the first one in the water. being an expert she of course only needed the single ski and was doing tricks in the water. As usual things look so easy when you sit at the side.

After about 15 minutes it was my turn. I jumped in the water and got the two ski's on to my feet and got straightened out with the rope. IT took about 3 attempts for me to get up and out of the water I was already tired in my legs by then.. It is quite a lot of power to get out of the water if you are not used to it. Anyway up and away I went.

Faster and faster while I was holding on for dear life with both my hands. I kept going for a few minutes until I was really tired in my legs and arms. In theory I should have let go with one hand of the rope to signal that they should slow down. In practice I just realized that If I loos grip then for sure I would be falling anyway. I tried to wiggle my head to show them to slow down but who on earth would know that meant slow down. In the end I just thought If I just try to lean back a bit and let go of the rope then in theory I should slow down and keep the balance while sinking in to the water. Well that was the theory! what happened was that one ski went left, the other one right with one of the tips going under. Thus me doing some kind of -10 point somersault in the water. the ski design was made so that they would fall of if this happened to avoid breaking any legs.. If just my big toe had read the instruction book then maybe this would have worked. Well my toe was not broken but it was badly twisted. It was about double size and completely blue by the time I got out of the water.

As usual I kept telling the guys I was OK while holding on for dear life not to start screaming out in the air. It took about 20 minutes then the pain had settled down a bit so I could enjoy the ride anyway.

After another hour cruising around Benoit told us it was time for lunch. He had arranged with some more friends to meet up in the middle of the lake. We saw about 5 boats approaching fast and we just sat there in the middle tying the boats together in a perfect place to enjoy the sun and the lake. There was not a cloud in the blue sky and it was about 28 degrees C.

The newly arrived friends had packed a well equipped lunchbox with cooled French white wine, Champagne and beer. Food wise we had a selection of nice pate's, salads and barbecued chicken.

While we were enjoin our lunch on the lake we started hearing and seeing the mortars flying from the hills around Bujumbura toward town. With loud bangs echoing on the lake when the mortars hit the ground. We had heard them while we worked in the office but this was the first time we could actually see them hit town. They normally hit town about 5 kilometres from our office.

It was just a surreal feeling. Here we are sitting having a very nice lunch on the lake with a war raging between rebels and the government troops. Even though I knew we were in country at war it was like it was still so far away yet we could see and hear the mortars and shooting.

We continued our lunch on the lake as if nothing had happened. The mortar-fire was a daily occasion since several months and since the curfew had just been lifted it was like holiday for the guys who had been there during the worse period... 6 months of not being able to go anywhere but home before it got dark around 1800.

We swam a bit more before heading back in to town again. At least we had been able to see something other than the office and hotel..

The next morning me and JJ took a small flight over to Ngozi in the north of the country, but that is another story.

no froglegs today?

While working in Bujumbura I discovered a new treat. The town having a colonial past have a good mix of french/Belgian cuisine so in several restaurants , even during the embargo it was possible to get very nice food. Good steaks, fish and why not frog legs. "cuisses grenouille" pardon my french! :-)

This was a dish I would never even have considered trying when I was younger but once I got the travel bug in general , part of the excitement was trying the local dishes as well as anything I would potentially not find back home.

After having tried the frog legs once in town I kind of enjoyed munching on these legs :-) and it became a regular starter when I was in town.

Some of my friends from Kampala had arrived and at lunch I suggested them to try this delicacy.

Then the waiter , a bit embarrassed says - Pardon Monsieur, no Frog legs today (in french of course)

- hmm no frog legs and here I have finally convinced my friends to try them?! All my friend of which half from Uganda sighed with relief.

- No monsieur, you know..... the rebels.

- what.. the rebels... What do the rebels have to do with my frog legs??

- Monsieur, you know the area where the rebels shell the town with mortars.

- Yes

- Pardon monsieur, but that is where the frog farm is and yesterday the military was doing raids so no delivery today.

-!!!!!

There should not be many valid reasons for a restaurant not to have the food written on the menu but who can argue with this reason.!!


Only in Africa

Helping hand

The office had given me the "141". 141 was the last digits on the registration plate on the Land cruiser once donated by SRSA (Swedish Rescue Services Agency). We were in the end only two guys who wanted to drive it as it was a left hand steered car in a left hand drive country... Thus you ended up sitting at the end of the road with little vision on the center of the road when passing other cars.

The car was a special one as it was a Land cruiser fully equipped with double transceivers on both HF and VHF. It was essentially a mobile command centre ready to go to any emergency and with stickers all over so it could not be mistaken for any other car. It was also equipped with a winch to be able to get out of bad situations in mud.

In those days it was common that expats were allowed to take the official vehicles home over night as it was the only way to properly disburse the cars, thus minimizing the risk of theft and potential terror attacks during the night. It was easy to throw a grenade into our office compound in Kampala and immediately take out 10 or more vehicles.

Me and Frode, another of my colleagues were heading out for some fun as it was weekend. His girlfriend had also joined in for the trip down to Haandi for dinner. From there we would then find our way to the local night scene.

When heading back we took the normal route. In Kampala streetlights are a luxury we keep dreaming of thus all the roads are treacherous. Partly because of all the potholes, which can reach enormous proportions as the road repairs leave a lot to desire in most parts of town. Well the pothole is one problem but the way people seem to avoid them is by driving completely around them rather than taking a visual stock of how to negotiate the hole while still getting it under the centre of the car. I have probably done thousands of maneuvers to avoid cars with drivers who simply focus on the hole rather than looking at oncoming traffic!

The other threat is the potential for robbery or accidents during the night.

We turned up on the very steep hill and as usual we drove with the full "Hella" lights turned on. We had them installed both on the roof and in front on the bull bar. On both sides of this road there was a very deep ditch, just about a meter in depth and about 1 meter wide. This was to ensure the rainwater would not carry away the road during the heavy rains we normally experience.

To our amazement there was a car standing with the back wheels up in the air and the nose down in the ditch. Both front wheels were in the ditch. Me and Frode looked at each other and by the sign on his face he was thinking the same as me.. "Lets get to work and help these guys out."

We thought that, with the winch and the strength in our car this would be a piece of cake. It was an elderly couple and they were very scared even though no one was injured. There was no damage to the car in general so to us it looked like they had driven slowly or tried to do a u-turn.. Making a u-turn in hat area would be a crazy thing to do but we have seen worse happen many times.

We tried to find a space to hook up the car but we could see that it was an old car with rust in all the bad places so we had to make sure we got it right or the couple would probably start chasing after us for wrecking their car.

While we were trying to get light in the right spots and get the cable around one of the local guys, who saw our car parked with full headlights, joined in. We told him we did not need any help as we had it under control. The old couple did not speak too much English and the guy started talking to the couple and was waiving his arms in different directions. Sometimes hovering over us with out commenting anything to us. But then back to the old couple waiving his arms and continuing to talk in one of the local languages.

Somehow we managed to fix the wire in 3 points and then started pulling. We adjusted one of the wires and then managed to get the car out unharmed. The old couple were very happy and thankful. We rolled in the cable and jumped in to our car waving goodbye to the couple. Frode's girlfriend then said.

- What are you not going to charge them some money?!

Again me and Frode looked at each other and burst out laughing. - What do you mean charging?! we both countered in tune as if we had rehearsed the timing.

- but ofcourse they have to pay you guys for helping them.

We countered that, back home in Scandinavia if someone is in trouble it is just common courtesy to help out and anyone would help and would think none of it. The girl looked completely lost at that time and we laughed again. For us it was just a nice thing to do and as usual we always looked at situations to see if we could find a solution to a challenge.

- but..... the girl countered again - The guy who was talking to the couple and waiving his arms...

- yeah ?!

- Well he got 10,000 Ughs from the couple.

- What do you mean he got money ?!

- Well I heard him telling the old couple that as we knew nothing on how to pull out cars he would take control of the situation and tell us what to do.and thus supervise the situation so their car would get safely out of the ditch.

- What!!!?? are you sure.

- Yes that is what he told them and I saw that they gave him the money.

We b0th looked puzzled but then we concluded- Well this is crazy Kampala...

We did the job and another guy got 4 beers out of it :-)

My second flight with UN, the real inititation to the work

I had just dismantled the technical equipment from our office in Mwanza and was ready to fly back to Kampala. It was as my 30th birthday and this was the first time I actually worked on my birthday but work was so new and interesting that it was not on my mind in a negative way rather on the contrary.

After the adventure with the small beech craft I was not sure what was in store for my return. I just knew it would not be the same plane but the rest I would never even have been able to imagine.



The Norwegian guys who had been running the small logistics coordination office already started to celebrate in the morning as it was "syttene Maj" well 17th of may for the uninitiated.. that is the day the whole of Norway is celebrating my birthday or their national day :-)

We packed up the last pieces and they said lets join the 2nd Iljusin -76 and fly back with that one to Entebbe.

The iljusin is one of the real work horse planes that we use for transporting whatever is needed. there was 3 of them that had been based in Mwanza and they were all wrapping up the last flights as the operation in DRC Congo was scaling down after the Rwanda Genocide.

We saw the first one take off fully loaded with food commodities for the refugees in Kisangani.
the noise they make when taking off can not really be described. It is just enormous and there are no normal commercial planes like it. Looking inside it is a purely mechanical plane and if there is any electronics it is with old Valves or Tubes as we would find in radios from the 50s and 60s. All the control wires are fully visible inside to save on weight and cost.

The crew for a plane is quite large as they carry their own spares and repair equipment so they are almost completely self sufficient... With a Russian crew just give the plane fuel and the crew some Vodka and the flights are on the way :-)

As it was their last flight run before returning back home to Russia they were in both a sad mood but also celebrating their departure from a job well done. their return to Russia effectively meant that they would be out of a job as there was money nor interest in actually repairing the planes to get them back in business. (this was in 1997)


We sat in the back when taking off. I asked if there was any seat we needed to take with seat belts but it was obvious that this plane was not equipped with such luxuries. We could sit anywhere we wanted or why not simply lie down on the bags the plane was full of. When an illusin takes of and land it is almost not noticeable compared to other planes.. It basically drives off horizontally until it just lifts without any angle upward to speak of. the crew in the back were refreshing themselves with some black label and so did both me and the Norwegian guys.

After abut 3 hours we reached Kisangani and the pilot flew around the airport 2 turns before landing. As it was in a potential war zone with both government troops, rebels as well as rebel fighters from Rwanda in the vicinity a constant lookout was needed. Once the pilot was satisfied everything was OK he talked to his friends from the first plane on the ground and we landed.

The reason why we had to fly to Kisangani even though it was half the way through DRC, for the Rwanda crisis, was that the people had by any means tried to avoid the genocide and had basically disappeared into the jungles around Goma/Bukavu only to somehow appear in and around Kisangani several hundreds of kilometres away.

We parked the plane and opened the doors. there was a lot of military on the ground and the atmosphere was very tense. I had a camera and took some pictures from inside the plane but did not take it outside.. that proved to be a very good decision as one of the other guys was almost attacked instantly when trying to take photos of the plane in front of the building.

About 30 people started offloading the plane by hand. The 50 kilo bags of food disappeared in rapid succession out of the plane. After about 30 minutes they were ready.

I was then informed by the pilot that we would bring all the people that we saw standing in line on board the plane and fly them to Kigali.

I will never forget the sights nor the smell of what was to follow.

The crew rolled out some blue tarps on the floor in the plane. then they locked the entrance between the cargo hull and the cockpit and informed us to not under any circumstance open the door once we were in the air.

We all started helping the refugees getting onto the plane. They moved slowly and were so weak and skinny with hollow eyes barely able to focus on anything. In every ones eyes you could just see the fear. The knew they would be returning to a country which had just been hell on earth. They all carried a small returning pack consisting of some water and some little food. Mothers carrying their children. Each time we led someone into the plane their eyes were just saying one thing, please don't let anyone harm us, yet they spoke nothing.

Talking to our guys on the ground I was informed that I was lucky to come at this time.. If I had arrived even one week before I would have seen people in much worse shape than I now saw.

We helped about 350 people into the plane. The all sat down on the floor stomach to back in several rows.

The main cargo door was closed and we climbed into the cockpit.
As there was no seat anymore the pilot told me I could even watch the take-off standing behind his seat. I was a bit sceptical so I instead found a small cushion which I placed next to the navigator who is sitting below the pilots. It would be the perfect view to somehow feel the acceleration of the plane and see the rush of the ground running passed as we took off.

We taxed out started taking off. Once we had reached an altitude of about 500 metres it got cloudy several times. Suddenly I see another iljusin right in front of us heading directly towards us. the pilot quickly made a maneuver banking right. Luckily the other plane did the same... Only then did the navigator notice that he had forgotten to turn on the radar.

The flight went smooth after that and we continued somehow celebrating but in a more subdued way. The people in the back had been through hell and survived and they were now on the way home and would hopefully be living a better life than the had for the last 2 -3 years.

When we landed in Kigali airport I stood behind the pilot and I could barely even feel when the wheels touched the runway.

There was even more soldiers on the ground at this airport than I had seen elsewhere. We got out on the runway and the soldiers was commandeering everyone left and right. the cargo door was not to be opened until all the buses for the refugees had arrived. The tension was quite high. the trust among the people was virtually none and due to the situation no one could know if there potentially would be interahamwe among the returning refugees. So everyone would have to be screened once they reached their camp.

The smell was horrendous. Most of these people had never been in a plane let alone even seen one. That combined with the fear of returning meant that many had defecated right then and there in the plane. Luckily no one had panicked and they were helped of the plane to the buses.

Once the plane was empty it was cleaned up and we later on took of for Entebbe. The crew was getting more and more frisky with the vodka and they started to sing their traditional songs.
We landed at Entebbe just at sunset. I fell asleep in the Land cruiser on the way back to Kampala with very mixed feelings. Sadness, Happiness, Excitement, Anger all mixed into one. It was my 30th birthday and on my first mission I had seen upfront and close what the real work our agency do.

My first flight with UN

I had just been on my job 2 weeks when Peter (my boss for almost 10years by now) asked me to fly down to Mwanza in Tanzania to close down a small coordination office we had there at the end of the Rwanda war. A lot of refugees were still up in DRC in Kisangani and Goma area.

I was very exited. It as my first flight in Africa to actually be able to fly over Lake Victoria and see the nature closer up from the air during daytime.

As it was my first flight with a UN plane the guys had informed me to go and talk to the air ops guy Stig. A very nice Norwegian guy who I keep crossing paths with in various emergencies.

Stig was at this time getting ready for a well deserved break as he had been a major player for the flight corridors between Entebbe and Rwanda as well as towards DRC.

I had not even reached the office when I heard his Norwegian accent shouting while speaking on the handheld radio.

He appointed Ivan, his assistant, to join me and do the formalities and get me to the lounge. In the same breath he gave strict instruction to Ivan not to leave me out of sight, even for a minute.

We got through all the paperwork ok and were sitting looking out over the tarmac and the planes landing.

Finally my plane UNK -95 arrived. Over my handheld radio I could hear Stig's voice giving instructions to various people. Suddenly he starts shouting "IVAAAN where are you". Ivan jumping out of his seat trying to answer the radio in the same breath. " I am with your passenger"
"But you know the passenger cant get lost if he already is at the gate.. I need you by the plane."
"Yes Sir" and Ivan was with his legs on the back heading down to the plane.

As I was just interested in what was in general happening I kept listening on the radio traffic.

I saw Ivan running towards the plane when a loud voice again come on the radio. "Ivan- where are you, are you with the pilot now? Before Ivan even got a chance to answer Stig once more shout over the radio... " Ivaaann-- why have you not gotten the fuel truck to the plane"

Looking out of the tarmac I see Ivan standing right in between the plane, holding his handheld radio and just looking confused. I felt sorry for him. Even the few minutes I spent with him it was clear he was a nice guy and did everything he could to ensure everything went smooth. There simply is only so much one guy can do with conflicting instructions.

In the end the plane got fuelled and the pilot and co-pilot left the plane and walked around on the tarmac. Me and 2 more passengers were ready to board.

Once more we hear Stig on the radio " Ivaaaan - why are you not with the passenger!!!!" upon which Ian without answering the radio make way up to our gate in very fast long steps.

We all enter the tarmac and head over to the plane. A small beech craft which was in use more than a year for our operation only.

I say hi to the pilot and his co pilot. The Pilot was a Kenyan guy and the co pilot a fellow swede.

They both ask us not to board the plane yet as they are inspecting the plane. Once done they both disappear into the plane and starts discussing something.

finally the co-pilot comes out and informs us that the flight is cancelled as they had found some "technical" problem with the plane.

Talking to the co-pilot in our native tongue I find out that the pilot is angry as he did not get any coffee on arrival and therefor just want to cancel the flight.

However no they had a problem....

The had arrived with the son of the country director for our operation in Burundi who was on the way to meet his father for a few days.

Once a plane is declared not suitable for passengers... they cant carry passengers.... Yet they had this 12 year old, boy whom they had taken on responsibility for.

They again discussed, and in the end they came to the conclusion that they would have to take the boy back, leave us on the ground and fly back to Nairobi.

3 hours later the plane arrived back and we continued to Mwanza... the pilot was another one :-) the co-pilot was the same..

While I flew UNK-95 many times after that, I never saw the pilot again.

Checking in Air Afrique way

I had just ended my one week mission in Chad and was about to take the 2 times weekly Air Afrique flight between Ndjamena and Niamey.. in Niger...

On advice from the team from our local office I arrived 3 hours before takeoff. On this particular trip while flying business class on the long-haul flights I had not qualified for a business class ticket on the 1 hour flight I would be going on. Price wise it had however not mattered so the travel-unit had kindly booked me in the higher class.

Little did I know that this move would end up saving me either one week in mission time or a lot of money as it happened.

Standing in in the cue-line as the 2nd passenger to arrive to the airport I was just soaking in the athmosphere at the airport. While small, it was a busy place, with people shouting across the whole departure areas as there seemed no need to go close to a person to talk to them.

I looked around and all the doors to the check-in was closed with no presence of anything than guards giving away a sense that something should start soon.

There was a solid fence and a locked cage type door which would have to be passed with the normal x-ray before even checking in the luggage. Me and a colleague from another UN agency sat there waiting.

The flight we were both booked on was a large 747 which was doing a run from Paris, via Niamey to Ndjamena then with a continuation straight to Paris again.

While waiting we started to notice that one of the conveyor belt doors for the luggage was open into what seemed the back office of the check in area.

We saw no Air Afrique staff but we started seeing a number of normal people just enter through the hole and it they came out with boarding passes !? We could not see if it was for our flight or another one but it was just giving me a strange feeling. After seeing this practice on several occasions I asked my driver if we should not also go in there and just get our boarding pass... nononono he said.It was not for our flight we should just wait in line.

Seeing an endless line of people entering the small hole was quite comical but it kept giving me an uneasy feeling.

Once the actual door opened and the Air Afrique manager came out he simply explained in french that the flight was full and we could go home!?

Hmmm...that is not exactly what I had in mind... neither my colleague. Together with our respective drivers we started and seemingly endless discussion about getting a seat.. Mind you we had both reconfirmed our tickets 72 hours before as we knew we had to..

the manager was adamant, the flight was full and that was the end of story as far as he was concerned. Then suddenly he noted that my ticket was a business class ticket while my colleagues was an economy.

He took both tickets and disappeared for about 10 minutes only to return with a boarding pass for me in first class. My colleague was simply informed that there was no seat. the same was again reiterated to all the people behind us in the cue-line. The majority of these people had also re-confirmed their ticket. I was quickly whisked through the security and in to the lounge area.

While sitting waiting almost an hour my colleague finally made it in to the lounge... He was not very happy. He had been refused with no chance on getting the flight and had basically been forced to buy an alternative ticket.. Chad - Niamey via PARIS!!! As he was the main presenter at a meeting in Niamey the next day, with participants having flown from 10 different countries just for him, he had no other option.

We parted way and I went over to the Immigrations officer to get my passport stamped. The immigration officer asked me for my visa paper. I said the visa is in the UN passport as we could both see. nonono he says there was a paper I was given on arrival in two copies of which I needed one... If I did not have that I would have to pay a fee..... Hmm what fee? I had asked the office staff if there was anything needed and they had told me no. nothing.

hmm... We argued for about 10 minutes and then he let me through without stamping my passport...hmmm...

On arrival at the gate there was still time so we all had to wait. Once we started boarding, again immigration was there wanting to see the passports. Once they saw mine of course there was discussion and they asked me to step aside... everyone else boarded and they still held on to my passport asking for the paper and in connection with that ..some money to solve the problem... Being stubborn as I am I figured if they really stop me and make me miss the plane there will be a record of an event that would lead to more problem for them than me so I managed to keep my cool. Even though not understanding half of what they said as it was in french made it a bit difficult.

Finally the purser came out asking what was going on and somehow managed to convince the immigrations guys that it was not a very good solution to retain me to miss the flight and they gave in. Once more I was on my way.

Mind you last time I was in Dakar I saw about 10 Air Afrique planes on the ground seemingly with no way to get in the air again as the company went bankrupt.... wonder why?!

Dont try so hard :-)

I was about to end a mission in West Africa which had seen me covering 5 countries in less than 3 weeks. For once I had the luxury of flying business class. Working for a large humanitarian organisation we normally only get that treat if it is more than 9 hours flight. On this particular trip I would spend an estimated 17 hours in the air.

Routes

Bamako - Paris

Paris - Gatwick

Gatwick - Entebbe

What happened is an entirely different story....

Looking at the above itinerary do note that to get from West Africa to East Africa the fastest and most reliable way is, through Europe or via South Africa!

I boarded the Air France plane in Bamako and settled in fast, drinking some champagne, thinking back at a very interesting mission. As normally expected the takeoff was about 1 hour late. With the 3 hour transit time I would have enough time to make it between the gates even if we were a bit late, so I had my dinner and fell asleep.

The flight was event less and we landed with just over 1.5 hours time to transit. Since I had a full business class ticket all the way I approached the guys at Paris asking if there was a fast way to get me over to the Gatwick flight fast.

But monsieur you arrived on a Air Fraaaaance flight and now you will fly on British Aiiirways.
We do not -ave any shuttle for fast transit when you change airlines... why don't you buy a full air fraaaance ticket all the way, monsieur.

Not going into the details of Paris airport but it is the most confusing airport I have seen. It took me almost 1 hour to get from my arrival gate to the gate I am leaving at. I could not see any transit centres so I went to the gate as time was short.
At the gate they tell me - sorry Monsieur but you can not board as we are closing the gate in 5 minutes and you have to go to transfer desk first.... !!! I am here. I have my ticket. I have no luggage.. I am in business class.... nothing worked.

I look over and see that in 20 minutes there is another flight but to Heathrow.... aha. with my business class tickets I should be able to get on that one and then get between the airports in London within an hour.. It used to be 45 minutes transit...I remembered.

I run down to the transit desk they so kindly pointed out to me.. Well it is a 5 minute run on conveyor belts made of.... rubber...

I inform the lady behind the counter that I need to be on the flight BA 234 leaving in 15 minutes! she looks in the computer and says but the manifest is closed... I less kindly inform her that Airfrance do not want to take action and I was in time for a BA flight and they refuse me to board and I will not have any more of that....

Eventually the lady against all the rules manages to get me on the manifest with some kind of fake booking but with a boarding pass with a handwritten seat number on. She tell me to run to the flight which I did and on arrival the ladies at the check in is already complaining before I can even show my boarding card. Well monsieur but of course you can not board as we have no food on board for you as you are too late. I repeat the story of how I have been treated by Air France and BA in various periods on the flight and am finally allowed on board.

We take off and I sit in my business class seat and had... breakfast.....

On arrival at Heathrow I run out of the plane and grab the first BA person I can find on the ground to get me a boarding pass on the Gatwick flight ;-)

The answer was of course. - there is two hours left to the flight we will not confirm your seat and by the way there is a jam on the roads due to construction so you will not make it.

No one can tell me I wont make the flight, I think to myself, while running through another airport. I had only hand luggage (mind you it weigh about 10 -12 kilos. Exhausted as I was, I found the shuttle bus terminal. I just saw a buss pulling away so it would be 15 minutes to the next one, I was told.

No worries, the taxi stand was just 2 more minutes away and luckily no cue there so I got into one of the standard London taxis.

The driver with his wide Scottish accent kindly informed me that there is a bit of a traffic jam so he thought it would take a while to reach there. I informed him that I only have one hour to spare and even then I would be cutting it close. With the enticement of a bonus :-) he agreed to try avoid the worst jams and we were on our way.

I then turn to organizing my papers to get ready for the arrival at Gatwick only to find that I had lost my national passport. Hmm... now were did that happen. Well nothing to do as I would most likely not find it back even if returning to the airport so did not worry the driver with that fact...

(Tracing my steps back it was clear to me that I had forgotten it at the bus terminal as I was tying my shoelaces while they guy was informing me of the time for the next bus ..)

Looking a the situation I tried to remember if they actually check passports when you leave UK. I knew I had been stamped in to the country. Since I had my UN passport I should be able to get out of a country but there might be some explaining to do as they don't necessarily like UN passports in countries close to home, for some mysterious reasons.

With 45 minutes to spare before planned takeoff I arrived at Gatwick and ran to the check in desk.
- What flight are you on, Sir.
- Entebbe in 42 minute I said I hope I can still make it.
- Well Sir you know you should be here at least 2 hours before.
- Yes Sir I am aware but it seems that there was a slight delay on my BA ticket and no support to get me between the airports, I countered.
- Oh what a pity but let me see. Oh yes it is still possible to check you in if you have no luggage and if you can run to the gate.
- Sure no problem... Running.. that is the only way I have seen airports so far today.

I got my boarding pass and ran to immigration, expecting another battle, but to my surprise there was actually no passport control to exit the country?!

I get to the gate and am the last person to board, drowning in sweat by this time as running with 10 kilos of hand luggage through crowds at three airport kind of does that to you.

Got into my seat and they close the door. Yeah I made it!! I think to my self. The crew is busy getting ready for takeoff and then the pilot comes on the loudspeaker.


" Welcome on board. This flight bound for Entebbe has a technical problem. Not to worry as it is just a small technical problem with one of the lights in the console and the spare part is on the way. Once we get the replacement we should be ready for takeoff. It will though take 30 minutes before we get the piece. Meanwhile sit back and relax and enjoy the in flight entertainment."

Haven't we heard that phrase a few times to many ...

After 1 hour!! the Pilot then announces.

" Dear Passengers. We have now switched the light on the console and everything is in order so we can continue with the flight."

The engine starts reving up on one side of the plane. Then instead of hearing the engines on the other side rev up the initial one is turned off...?!

Once again the captain comes on the loudspeaker with an entirely different voice.

" Dear Passengers. It seems that the indicator light has once more come on as soon as we started the engine. This unfortunately means that the flight will be cancelled. The good news is that we will re-instate this same flight in 24 hours and we will arrange accommodation for you. For those who need to be re-routed sooner please contact the transfer desk. Everyone else please remain in the plane until our shuttle buses has arrived."

Hmmm... What to do I am thinking. I have come this far , lost my passport, paid heavy on the taxi, run through 3 airports only to be waiting 24 hours.... No way was the answer- I am going to Entebbe.

I get out of the plane and in rapid pace, head over to the transit desk and explain to the lady that I have to reach Entebbe in shortest possible time.

Ok we have the following option we can offer, she says.

You take the next plane from Gatwick to Amsterdam which is in 35 minutes then you will have to wait there 1 hour before the flight from Amsterdam to Nairobi. And finally wait another hour for the last leg between Nairobi to Entebbe. I asked if it was the fastest way and she confirmed.

Great now we are rolling, I thought. I would still arrive in the night even though 8 hours later than originally planned.

The flight between Gatwick and Amsterdam was uneventful and for a change, on time!

I get on the flight to Nairobi noting that business class in this plane is not really the same as BA but if it is on time at least there is one plus :-)

The arrival into Nairobi was uneventful even though with a 30 minute delay due to headwind. As we were quite a large number of passengers continuing to Entebbe they announced that the Kenya Airways flight would await our arrival even if we were a bit late.

Once out of the plane the scramble for the Entebbe gate starts only to find that the plane has already left (despite what we had been told)

It is now 0230 in the morning and KLM inform us that they would take us all to a hotel and then return us well in time for the flight at 0900 in the morning.
As luck has it of course they could not arrange transport for so many people and we actually did not arrive at the hotel until 0330, check in took another 30 minutes. Thus fall into bed a 0400 only to wake up again at 0630 as we had to be at the airport at 0700 even if the had all our papers... Thus sitting waiting 2 hours while still being in zombie mode.


The final leg................don't remember anything from the flight but at 1000 I arrive in Entebbe completely exhausted.

The BA plane from Gatwick landed 2 hours after I had arrived in Entebbe, sighhhh.

The lesson learned... When things start going wrong.. don't fight it ... go with the flow and see were it takes you :-) You might get more sleep :-)