Who We Are, What We Do, Why We Do It

People I know have often wondered why I am working in remote, dangerous places rather than being at home in a "safe" environment like Sweden where I come from.

First of all I dont think Sweden is that safe even if it on the surface might look like it. Looking at the type of crimes there when I grew up comparing to today there is a hugh difference.

Being on the travelling foot a lot has somehow up-rooted me and I feel the need to travel every so often irrespective of where I am. When I joined the Humanitarian world I was not necessarily the most likely person to join. I was lucky and saw an opportunity to travel and work at the same time. Being the technical guru I am, helped me continue in the organisation until I learned a lot of other aspects of the operation so I left the techincal field. Over the years though the idea of why I worked also changed dramatically. I guess that happens when being so extremely involved with work as you might become when working in the humanitarian field. You work long hours, long weeks and somehow never really disconnect. Even if you might be a small piece of the puzzle in some cases you can see the real impact. Not necessarily long term change impact but often day to day managing to keep a few more people alive so they too can have a chance at a future. I dont watch news too often when on leave as if there is any new war, earthquake or other disaster striking it immediatly relates to more work for me and others.

There is one short Video I have seen several times which really touch me each time I see it, as it really reflect my ideas as to why I continue work. Even if I would have a slow starting morning one day it seems to cure any potential doubts about why I am doing this work. Some people might never understand it, even among my friends, but then I never understood how someone can go to work and earn a meager salary while the boss is becoming a millionaire. We all have different drives in life.



Currently I work in South Sudan in a very small remote place. I live in a small prefabricated house. There is enough space for a bed, a small fridge, 2 chairs and a small table. I also have a small sink and a table top cooker so I can cook my own food if I want to. I even have my own shower and toilette inside so the 6 x 4 meters is well utilised. Luckily it has an AC or I would have to move out to one of the tents as it is impossible to live in this prefab without AC.
Despite all our efforts to seal the prefab I still have coakroaches, ants and every now and then some lokusts crawling around inside. Somehow the mosquitoes dont like the AC so I manange to keep those outside.

Two days ago I got some kind of food poisoning again while eating at the local chicken place. Last time that happened in Africa I got Amoeba Dysentry. Still wondering what the outcome of this times ordeal will come up with. I have eaten at the same place before and did not have a problem. Mind you there is only 3 places in this whole town that I would even consider eating at.

Despite all the hardships, being away from the family 6 weeks at a time there is still no other work I would rather do.

How high is the price for a humanitarian workers commitment

Sometimes working in the humanitarian World can make you react in a strange way to things that happen in life.

I am currently working in one of the most dangerous states in South Sudan less than 6 months away from an election that is highly debated and political. That election being a preface to and even more complicated and political referandum to potentially split a country in two. During the 6 weeks I have been in the state an estimated 34,000 people have been displaced, atleast 300 people killed (including the attackers) and just when I went on R&R I was called by the security guys that the only road south to Juba was a no go zone as the army was fighting against local population was taking place less than 50 kn from my office. The other 300 or so killed was less than 200 km north of my office. Thus danger is one thing I am working with every day of my life.

While being posted here I have chosen to keep my family in Kampala, Uganda which is a place I know since 1997 and which has seen good progress since I first went there.

Then suddenly I hear on the radio that there has bee riots 2 days in a row in Kampala as the Baganda King was not allowed to visit some town as the local tribe would not want it to happen.. Kampala was suddenly a warzone with over 500 people arrested for the riots which had claimed atleast 20 deaths as well as massive looting and destruction of property. this in the most successfully growing capital in Africa since the last 3 years.

All of the above are things that a normal person in the developped world would only see or hear on the news and never be realizing the impact of as it is far remote from home.

2 days after the riots in Kampala I get an SMS from my wife.

"Hi Huny I waz in a very bad car accident 2day am so lucky am alive, please call me when u get this"

I call my wife and get news of what has happened and I still have 2 weeks to go before my R&R.

She had gone with her sister to drop her son to school and on the way back had stopped at the fuelstation to fuel up and then continued out on the road. 300 meters infront she had noticed a car coming at way to high speed and had commented to her sister on the crazy driving.

She had continued at a speed of less than 30 km an hour as she had just turned out on the road. and then suddenly the car coming towards her hit one car ripping of a mirror vearing of and then coming straight towards her car in a speed that was in excess of 80 km an hour. Crashing straight into her Landrover Freelander making it swirve around 2 times before coming to a complete halt. Since there was 15 cm high guardrails on the roadside there was no way to get off the road to avoid a crash.

We had just bought the car 4 weeks earlier and luckily enough both my wife and her sister had seatbelts on and the car had dual airbags. My wife had serious chestpains and pain in the feet but what they confirmed nothing was broken. Her sister had the same type injuries plus had a massive amount of cuts on the legs from crashed glass. Luckilly neither of our sons were in the car.

People came to help and somehow helped themselves to the loose pieces like wallets and other valuables which seem to be customary before helping any victims in
Uganda. Atleast there was a few who recognised my wife and her sister and made sure they got to the hospital asap.

The crazy driver was bleeding from any body part that could be seen. eyes, ears, nose, mouth , chest and so forth and was seeminlgy not alive when pulled from the wreck and no one ever came to check on the car at the police station afterwards so he must have died in the process, an assumed drunken driver as the car was full of beer bottles.



Now the crazy thing is that when I called my wife to ask how she was doing I was feeling sorrow but even more so Anger at the situation. Here I am working in one of the most dangerous places on earth and then she end up in an accident. With no chance to help, be there, or being able to do anything. Yes I could have tried to take leave and maybe flown out of my duty station. But then what. It would take me 3 days to get back in any case. She said she was ok and I would not need to come but then that is exactly what would have happened if I had worked in any other place except in the crazy humanitarian world where danger is prevailant in every single corner.

The night before she had been hit I was ambushed by a so called military checkpoint with 10 soldiers all pointing guns, unsecured guns straight at me, while trying to enter the car... It sure did not look like a checkpoint as I saw two guys in military clothes only realizing that their guns were pointed at me when I passed them upon I hit the break only to be surrounded. This while driving a car which has UN written all over it. I was released and could continue to our compound but with a very strange feeling in my mind.

Only when looking back at the above scenarios can I realize how weird the world humanitarian workers face on a daily basis. Not only the danger itself but how we somehow seem to adapt and change in how we deal with threats and danger.

I dont believe anyone in the normal first world would even think of a situation when they would not immediately be at the side of a family member who has been in an accident, yet it might be an almost impossible task for someone working in the third world as a humanitarian worker. Yes people complain we are over paid but how do you compensate for something like the above. Do we just conclude "well that is what you are paid for".

These questions keep popping up in my mind. Yes danger is one thing for me and I somehow adjusted to deal with it, probably on a level that is way beyond normal by any standard, but when it also impacts my family and my 2.5 year old son who might loose his mother and father at the blink of an eye. What can reasonably be asked of a person working in the humanitairan field be? yet a drunken driver can be found anywhere in this world. How many people though has to deal with the dual type situations than many humanitairan workers face for themselves as well as family at the same time?

Just returning for another 6 weeks of danger and no family contact except by phone.